Home on the Range 2004 Buena Vista Home Entertainment Official Website Buy It Now

Home On The Range, Disney's last hand-drawn animated film (let's not even get me started...), had me scared from the very beginning.  While I was very anxious to see the last of "real" animation coming from this studio which wouldn't even exist if it weren't for the labors of generations of hand-animators, there were just a few things that had me shaking in my boots.  First up...I hate Roseanne Barr.  Not just a little, but borderline psychotically. But I hate something else more.  Jennifer Tilly.  Not only is Jennifer Tilly a slap in the face to any actor, anywhere in the world, who can actually act, but she annoys a world full of audiences as well.  I will never be able to forgive her for what she has done to the wonderful icon of Madame Leota of the Haunted Mansion (we all know that I take my Haunted Mansion a little too seriously...), nor will I forgive Disney for believing she was the right choice for the feature film based on my favorite attraction.  But despite setting myself against these pretty severe concerns of mine, there was one thing that I was not prepared for...this movie is really, really good. 

For the 44th feature animated film in their catalog, Disney has chosen to take things into the wild, wild West and give us an epic adventure of six-guns, stagecoaches, steam trains, jackrabbits, spiny cactus, clapboard saloons, wooden sidewalks and of course the heroic adventures of cowboys...wait, no make that COWS.  That's right, the protagonists of this little tale are all of the bovine variety, and while you may wonder just how exciting and heroic a couple of Guernsey cows can be, I guarantee you, you have no idea!

Patch Of Heaven is a small dairy farm in the middle of a dry and dusty land.  This small, green oasis of friendly (if not a tad neurotic) farm animals is the home of kindly Pearl Gesner (Carole Cook, The Incredible Mr. Limpet), but for how long is another story.  You see, Pearl is about to lose her farm on auction if she can't come up with $750 bucks to avoid bankruptcy and foreclosure.  Doesn't seem like a lot now, but back in the old West, $750 dollars was a whole lot of money and things are not looking good for the future of Pearl's farm.  But what Pearl is facing is nothing compared to what the lands around her are up against. 

Ranchers far and wide have been losing their lands in just such a way after their herds of livestock are stolen by a feared and famed cattle rustler, Alameda Slim (Randy Quaid, Christmas Vacation).  Slim, it seems, holds a powerful sway over cattle through the use of his yodeling.  Yeah, you heard me right, Slim is a yodeler and the musical sounds of his raucous voice manipulations are hypnotic to members of the bovine community.  All Slim needs to do is yodel a few bars and cows and bulls everywhere are powerless to do anything but his bidding.  This is a great benefit to have if you are a cattle thief and Slim uses it to steal so many heads of cattle that every single ranch owner in the entire area has gone broke and had to sell their farm.  Of course, someone has to be buying up all these farms... 

By selling off the cattle he steals, Alameda Slim is able to buy up all the lands as they come up on auction, until he owns every single ranch or farm except for one...Patch Of Heaven.  Pearl is now facing the hardest time of her life and to make matters worse, someone has just dropped off another mouth to feed.  And what a big mouth it is!  Maggie (Roseanne, Freddie's Dead: The Final Nightmare.  Yeah, seriously) is a show cow from the city.  More used to a life of blue ribbons and full feed bags than to one of straw beds and milking (yikes), it is not immediately clear if she will be able to fit in here at Patch Of Heaven.  While most of the animals are willing to give her a shot, there is one who is most definitely against the idea altogether.  

Mrs. Caloway (Dame Judi Dench, Shakespeare In Love) has always been the mother figure to the animals of Patch Of Heaven and they have come to look to her for leadership and a mature piece of advice or two.  Some would call this old cow crotchety and snooty, but she seems to think that it is only because she is always right.  Mrs. Calloway does not see eye to eye with this flashy new show cow and feels that no cow should be deserving of that much attention without having earned it through fine example and poise.  If not for the ditsy Grace (Jennifer Tilly, Haunted Mansion @#&(^%!!!), these two would stand no chance of getting along, but through her air headed innocence, she manages to make a fine mediator.  This temporary harmony comes to a screaming halt however, when Maggie comes up with an idea to save the farm. 

A $750 dollar reward has been offered for the capture of Alameda Slim, which has attracted the attentions of the finest bounty hunter in the West...Rico.  If the cows can get to Slim first and bring him in to justice, then the farm is saved and their home remains intact.  A crazy idea, but what other choice do they have.  Of course, Mrs. Caloway is not enthused on this idea, but Grace seems to be going along with Maggie and there is no one to watch over them and offer the best advice.  

This sets in motion a high adventure of higher stakes.  Three cows, traveling the dusty trails and tracking down an evil cattle rustler with the power to control their minds; not your average tale and not your average Disney film, but somehow it all comes together and makes for a fun and exciting watch.  Along the way, the cows come across a variety of quirky characters who each add a little something more to the tale.  First up is the sheriff's horse, Buck, who wishes he was the trusty steed of Rico the chiseled bounty hunter, and daydreams of his heroic fights with bad guys near and far.  Cuba Gooding Jr., as Buck, is quite possibly one of the funniest characters in a Disney film of recent memory.

Far surpassing Eddie Murphy's turn as Mulan's dragon, Mushu, Cuba is helped in his hilarity by the fact that he is an untapped resource.  Recent Disney films (including this one) have gotten trapped in some sort of "we must use the same stars over and over and FORGET about finding new talent or using different actors each time" vortex.  Just look at the return here of Tilly who did not garner favorable reviews for Haunted Mansion (due mostly in part to the fact that she is poor at her chosen profession) and the fact that Dame Judi Dench is already cast in the upcoming Disney film Gnomeo And Juliet (2006).

The bounty seeking bovines also cross paths with an insane Jackrabbit who has more than his share of bad luck (possibly due to the fact that he is missing one of his "lucky" rabbits feet?) and a cantankerous buffalo door-man with a flare for the ladies but no love spared for anyone else.  There are others of course, each character adding in to the humor of the whole, with only one other truly notable mention.  Steve Buscemi (Reservoir Dogs) had the part of a slimy, sleazy and completely untrustworthy stolen goods fence written just for him...not a bit surprising given the characters (character?) that he has played in the past.  Typecasting never worked so well though, and although his contribution to this film is small, his character is well done.

Now, of course this is a Disney film, so there is the usual bevy of songs scattered throughout.  The songs here fall somewhere down the middle, neither the best of their catalog, nor completely forgettable.  I can't imagine that you will hear any of your kids singing the songs from Home On The Range in a few years the way that you and I still sing the songs of Disney movies of our youth, but they will enjoy them now for the moods they set in the film.  K. D. Lang and Bonnie Raitt through in the required couple of tunes for any Disney movie with female lead characters, and Tim McGraw does his part to fill in the country vocal requirement for any Disney western.  Not surprising, given my affinity towards the villians of Disney's films, my favorite tune comes from none other than Randy Quiad as Alameda Slim singing "Yodel-Adle-Eedle-Idle-Oo".  Besides being nearly impossible to find via file swapping software (how's that spelled again?), the lyrics are humorous with lines like "I got the cattle out the ol' wazoo!".

The songs feel like a traditional Disney tale, but the animation (while being claimed as the last of Disney's hand-drawn) sure doesn't look like it.  There is so much computer aided animation in and around the hand drawn stuff here, that you can barely tell.  Not only this, but the hand-drawn characters don't seem to fit into their computer aided backgrounds.  Just take a look at that Alameda screenshot right there.  Now to Disney I am sure this says, "If they don't look right hand drawn over computer animation, we may as well computer generate the whole thing and save some bucks!"; but to any fan of the feature films that built this company this says, "Umm, DUH, computer animation doesn't look good, isn't what we want to see (outside the occasional Pixar release), and costs the films, characters, and your company itself their very soul".  I liked the colors and the general location and character designs quite a bit in Home On The Range, but the computer animated screen moves and the flat-feeling backgrounds definitely detract.

The release itself is right on par with what Disney has been putting out lately, stocked up with extra features and fun games.  This time around we get a bonus short film (my favorite of Disney's latest additions to their releases) entitled "A Dairy Tale: The Three Little Pigs".  Mrs. Caloway is telling the tale of the Three Little Pigs, when all of the other farm animals want to involve themselves in the story as well!  What follows is a disaster of nursery rhyme proportions.  You will also get some deleted scenes, a music video, some games and activities, and a Backstage Disney behind-the-scenes on the making of Home On The Range.

I must say that I was entirely surprised at how much I enjoyed this newest entry into Disney's catalog of feature animated films, and more surprising than that, I barely even noticed that Roseanne and Tilly were involved at all.  There is enough modern humor and adult in-jokes in this one to keep us "non-kids" involved and plenty of hilarious antics for the little tykes to be distracted for an hour or so.  I am not so sure that you can get a Little Patch Of Heaven with this one, but it certainly beats the purgatory of some other releases!  I say rustle yourself up a copy.

-aaron-