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Throughout the 13th and 14th century, the world saw the rise of a group of fanatical Christians called in this day, the Flagellants. These chaps believed in a little something called self-inflicted pain, and practiced the mortification of their own flesh for a variety of reasons. Some to bring upon themselves the suffering of Jesus Christ and in so doing cleanse themselves, and others as a public display of their religions martyrdom, so that the populace might be persuaded to repent their sins. There is a group of these heretical martyrs still active today in New Mexico calling themselves the Hermanos Penitentes, although I am not exactly sure as to what these crazies are trying to express through their self-mutilation. Regardless of the reasons, one thing is painfully (haha) clear…these guys like to torture themselves. Somehow I can’t help but think that if they were to take a night off from the flogging and whipping to say, catch a film or something, Frightmare (originally known as Paranoid when released in Australia and re-titled for American video release) would be the one they would pick out at the local Blockbuster… And while sitting on their wooden couch with nails thrusting forth from the back and seat and changing each others blood soaked bandages while applying salt to the wounds, I am not sure if they would be more likely to enjoy their own personal suffering at their current viewing, or the suffering that is appearing on screen under the guise of acting and plot. I normally wouldn’t want to be so harsh on Frightmare (don’t confuse this with the 1982 crap-fest featuring an early career Jeffrey Combs or the 1974 cannibal wife/mother movie), as I believe that every filmmaker has to start somewhere and shouldn’t be beaten up for his learning curve, but this film is such a blatant rip off of the Scream franchise (which I personally think did a horrible detriment to society by making horror films something that will be eternally made humorous for low-intelligence college goers and idiot tuner-car driving morons) that I don’t know what else to do. Had director Ash Smith put his own thought into this film I would be tempted to let it escape my wrath, but since he simply plagiarized his story, dialog and even the killer’s outfit…well, I guess I don’t feel the need to be too nice. The general plot of this film revolves around a haunted house being put on by a group of high school seniors (played to “perfection” by a group of mid-twenties or older actors) who are using the proceeds to fund a trip to the Cayman Islands. Wait, strike that…the plot actually revolves around a serial murderer called The Conscience Killer who is moving across the country and has just entered the small town where this haunted house is being held. One of the students takes a keen interest in the case and writes a story on the killer; but at what cost when the killer’s attention is caught? Wait a minute. I am sorry; it appears that again I was incorrect as the plot actually revolves around the mysterious murder of our reporting students sister long ago… Ya know, I am actually fairly sure that there is no plot at all here and instead that this movie was conceived by a couple of people who sat around saying to themselves, “Let’s write a movie that is all twisty and turny like Scream was and set it in a haunted house!”. Only problem here is that “twisty and turny” only works if you remember to show the audience enough and if it makes sense. Neither is done here. “Strange” happenings occur that make us say, “wow, where is that heading” and then nothing is ever made of it. Setting your film in a haunted house seems like a good enough idea, but you should probably attempt to have this fact relevant in some way to the film…here it is not. Also, you should attempt to USE the haunted house environment to heighten suspense and fake out the audience…also not done here. In fact, there is so little done right in this film that it is staggering. I actually thought to myself that it would be hard to write this review because I wouldn’t know where to start with the criticism…ouch. The acting talent is on par with party clowns and Barney the dinosaur, going so far as to surpass “bad” and transcend into frustratingly annoying and completely irresponsible. I have heard it said in many a review that one bad actor or another should be making their living in fast food, or pumping gas; but it is my professional (ahem) opinion that the actors of Frightmare be beaten with shafts of bamboo and forced to consume pieces of broken glass for the grave injustice that they have beset upon the world. After rereading that last sentence I realize that it sounds a little harsh…but my thought still stands. I think what the real problem here boils down to is that under certain circumstances, a film can be saved from the low budget, bad acting, poor script trap by employing other, more desirable elements; the most common being gore and gratuitous nudity/sex. Guess what…none of either. The gore is nearly non-existent, frustrating me more than anything because this is a “slasher” movie and all the slashing is really lame. A couple of knife stabs and one chop with an axe is about all you are gonna get here. If I want to watch a masked killer chase a girl around her house for 10 minutes, than I expect to see her get gutted pretty good when all is said and done. No can do…apparently the special effects budget was used up to buy hundreds of candles in an attempt to make a lunatics house look scary. And as far as the sex and depravity are concerned, well lets just say that they didn’t fill this movie with the most attractive of people. I was nearly relieved when no one gets too down and dirty. I know that there can be more to a movie than sex and violence…but NOT a slasher horror movie! If the filmmakers here did only one thing right, it was to make this film. You have got to admire the people that actually get up off their butts and scrape together a little cash, cast and crew and put something to film. For that, they should be commended. But I hope for their sakes that they have learned a lesson with this one (apparently not since IMDB shows only this one film for director Ash Smith), cause Frightmare is about as bad as it gets… -aaron-
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