Hatchet (Unrated Director's Cut) 2006 Anchor Bay Entertainment Official Website Buy It Now

Horror lost its edge, quite a while ago as a matter of fact. Just about everyone has read at one point or another the beef that both Aaron and I have with the modern age of horror; we’re tired of remakes, we’re tired of endless sequels that really have become inane and pointless, and that’s just the start. The lack of bare breast, the implied or computer generated gore, the lack of bare breast . . . I might have mentioned that one, but it can all be summed up simply as the fact the horror films today are just a pale imitation of what they once were, but some people are at least making an effort to return the horror genre to its glory days.

Hatchet is a modern return to the days of the slasher film where there were a few key ingredients to success. A very limited plot, a group of people foolish enough to trend into territory where they were warned not to, a deranged madman with a tragic past that has driven him over the edge, violent deaths that are improbable, and a few breasts, and that’s all found right here. Ben (Joel Moore) isn’t having a great time in New Orleans, and during Mardi Gras no less, but he’s heard about a ghost tour of the swamp and convinces his friend Marcus (Deon Richmond) to come along with him.

The tour is led by Shawn (Parry Shen) who really knows nothing about the tales and myths of the swamp, but he’s managed to get a group of people curious enough to journey along with him. Mr. and Mrs. Permatteo (Richard Riehle and Patrika Darbo), a pair of ladies who are trying to further their acting careers by showing their breasts at every moment, and Shapiro (Joel Murray) couldn’t be happier at the antics of Misty (Mercedes McNab) and Jenna (Joleigh Fiorevanti) and then there’s Marybeth (Tamara Feldman), a young lady looking for her missing brother and father. Deep in the swamp however there is the tale of Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder), a deformed man who was supposedly killed mistakenly by his father, but as the group will learn, Crowley is alive and well and more than willing to ruthlessly kill anyone who ventures into his domain.

Hatchet has a fairly good connection to the horror genre from the start. You have appearances by Robert Englund and Tony Todd; Deon Richmond meanwhile appeared in Scream 3 while Mercedes McNab was in both Addams Family movies. Joshua Leonard was in The Blair Witch Project and any true horror fan knows the name Kane Hodder and if not, Friday the 13th should be more than enough information. But, can an all-star cast with a background in horror make a good horror film? I’d have to say both yes and no.

Gore is really the center piece here, and Hatch has no shortage of that, and it certainly doesn’t lack some interesting kills either. A face ripped off by a gas powered sander (formerly an electric sander), limbs hacked off with a shovel of all things, a face ripped off with nothing but Crowley’s bare hands and that’s just a taste of what the film has to offer. Any good serial killer needs a good back story as well, though I will have to admit that Crowley really is similar to Jason. Both are hideously deformed individuals who have lived very tortured lives at the hands of others, they both supposedly died only to reappear years later and get revenge and neither of them can speak, at least not that is seen, and neither essentially have a weapon of choice, although the title Hatchet might make you think otherwise. Crowley however does manage to unleash a torrent of guttural growls and snarls.

Hatchet does give you plenty of boobs as well, though it lacks a few things that the slasher films from the 80’s had in droves. One thing is sex, the other is drug use, and these are the things that killers always need so they have a moral reason to kill. This is absent from the movie completely, and so I don’t think it’s quite the return to the glory days of the slasher film that it would like to be. It comes close, but without that moral reasoning behind butchery, it falls a little short.

I do like the fact that for the most part, Hatchet is set primarily at night and rarely uses interiors. It relies instead simply on outdoors slaughter and a good deal of bloodshed, though that’s often driven home by splattering gore on trees or just about anything else, and that does get a little old after a while, but I can see where the FX crew is taking pleasure in being able to throw the red stuff around. Crowley is even shown as being human, to an extent, and has weaknesses, but in a classic moment, what should spell is doom is foiled by Mother Nature and leads to a rather predicable moment or two towards the end before going with the open ended approach meaning that there more than likely will be a sequel at some point. Hopefully it doesn’t become an excuse to make movie after movie and slowly sucks the life out of hatchet. The problem with too many horror franchises is that the creators lose complete and total control and before long, what started as a fairly good idea is nothing more than a hopeful cash cow that repeatedly makes less and less money.

The DVD release of Hatchet is the unrated version. The film was originally given an NC-17 rating, something that few directors dare accept as it usually means commercial suicide, though I think with this film, word of mouth really helped it a great deal and had the film been left as it was, it still would have brought in viewers. There is also commentary on the feature with the cast and crew and the usual making of feature. Meeting Victor Crowley goes a bit more in-depth on the killer himself as well as Hodder’s unique approach to strike fear into the actors. There is a brief segment about the visual effects that are seen in the movie and Adam talks about one of the biggest influences in his life; Dee Snyder and Twisted Sister.

Hatchet isn’t quite the return to the glory days, but it’s definitely better than what I’ve seen in the past decade from the horror industry. What I have come to accept from the horror genre however is that no matter what, you can never go back again, and every attempt to make a throwback to the Italian cannibal craze, a modern zombie classic (which has yet to be achieved) or the next great slasher film, you can come close, but you can never quite match up to the glory of yesteryear. Hatchet comes close most certainly, but it will never be the film that outshines those movies that made the genre so great back when Michael Meyers and Jason Vorhees were names to be feared.

-mike-