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At first I was a little peeved at this tale, mainly due to the fact that it is a blatant and in-your-face rip off of shows such as MTV's "FEAR" and Family Channel's "Scariest Places on Earth". Twenty-somethings in a haunted house with camera's stuck to their heads and being given challenges is a little tired at this point. But then I realized that unlike those other shows, I could count on a good deal of these twenty-somethings ending up dead! At this point, I pushed up to the edge of my chair and awaited the carnage I had always wanted, but never received from basic cable.
Max is a television producer, desperate to sell a pilot idea to his boss, but having trouble convincing the exec to cave (obvious fiction; we all know TV execs will sign ANY reality bullshit...remember Bachlorettes in Alaska?). By reworking his idea of "young people in a haunted house" to "young hotties in a haunted house", he is given the green light. Max decides to offer a prize of $1 million dollars, that he doesn't have, to the winner of the evenings challenges; but at any time the contestants can opt out if things get to be a little too much.
Five girls are selected: Stacey - the scaredy-cat, good girl who's biggest fear is scary movies; Rainbow - the requisite "goth" girl who fears nothing, but thinks that long periods of extreme torture would "suck"; Amber - once found her dog dead in a field and spilled the maggots all over herself...she doesn't like bugs, but seems to enjoy boys; Marti - athletic competitor with a drive to win, and a fear of tight spaces; and finally Paige - a glamour girl who is dead-set on stardom and already has the attitude of a diva.
Introduce these five into the Mason House, the immense abode of one Phinneus Mason. Seems Phinneus took a few wives in his day and when he tired of one he simply locked her away in the basement and tortured her till he found another. These things happen, but it seems that maybe some of those restless spirits may still take up residence in the dilapidated old place. As each girl gets sent out to take on a challenge, she finds a little more than some rigged rooms and hidden cameras.
As each girl comes face to face with what I believe to be the ghosts of the dead wives, but look strangely like men in grim reaper costumes (I swear I could see the folds from being in the Halloween store retail bag), the meetings usually end with a pool of blood and a pile of guts and bone. The very non-menacing visuals of these creatures is enhanced greatly through the use of ingenious lighting and sped up editing.
The editing itself used several very stylistic methods to convey the feel of this movie. Films shot straight to video are usually very uninspired and effects are limited to a few desktop computer sunspots or some horribly animated spaceship. Not the case with Hell Asylum. The shots flash back and forth between POVs, hidden cameras, and black and white headset cams. This gives the film a more voyeuristic feeling and frankly gives us something else to pay attention to than the smeared face paint of the cloaked death-dealers. Static is used in a lot of the cuts and adds some tension with a sort of "damn-TV-better-not-cut-out-before-I-see-some-gore-god-dammit" feel.
Overall, Hell Asylum's standard plot is set apart by its creative production and fantastic splatter. Tempe and Full Moon movies have never been Spielberg productions (thank God), but now and then I am still surprised by the genuine entertainment this company provides. Get your copy of Hell Asylum now...this is one of those rare times in the DVD world when "limited special release" actually means it. There are only 2,000 of this edition out there, so get yours before it's too late; if not for the movie, than do it for Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker!
If you are not familiar with the Low-Budget Pictures films that are available as extras on Tempe's releases than you need to purchase these discs just for them. You have never seen more hilarious, more quotable, more non-existent budget films than these. Can you really pass up a gory comedy featuring a cast of characters like Teen-Ape, Phil the Demon, Lloyd Kaufman (president of Troma) and the delectable Debbie Rochon? I didn't think so.
-aaron-
Directed by:
Danny
Draven
Written
By:
Trent
Haaga
Cast:
Debra
Mayer
Tanya
Dempsey
Sunny
Lombardo
Stacey
Scowley
Olimpia
Fernandez
Tim
Muskatell
special
appearances by:
Joe
Estevez & Brinke Stevens
DVD
Features:
Widescreen 16:9 Enhanced
Transfer
Cast
& Crew Interviews
Cup
o' Joe" - The Joe Estevez Interview |
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