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I’m sure many are pondering just why it is that we keep delving back into the world of remakes? Most of our reviews of the slew of horror remakes that have been coming out really have not been too favorable, but there have been a few bright spots. The Hills Have Eyes for instance, Dark Water, and while I despised it, Aaron wasn’t completely turned off by The Ring. But studios, producers, and consumers need to learn when to say enough is enough, and that time obviously has not come yet. The Hitcher is the latest in the remake frenzy, and one of those films that, as far as the original goes, is a little less known save for many of the dedicated and die-hard horror fans. College students Grace (Sophia Bush) and Jim (Zachary Knighton) are making a trip are traveling to Lake Havasu for spring break, but during a particularly dark and stormy night through New Mexico they nearly hit a man hitchhiking on the road. While Jim wants to stop and help, Grace urges otherwise and the two continue on. A few miles up the road at a small gas station, the man is dropped off by a trucker and Jim decides to give the man a ride to a hotel in a nearby town. Their new passenger, John Ryder (Sean Bean) is turns out to be one of the last people they want to give a ride to. After the tries to kill Jim and is subsequently kicked from the car and left for dead, the young couple find Ryder around each and every corner, taking the lives of those who have given him a ride in the process. Soon Jim and Grace are wanted by the police in connection to a murder they had nothing to do with and try as they might, they can’t put the craze hitch hiker behind them. I never really cared much for the original version of The Hitcher, but I honestly dislike the remake even more. This is another film that can be added into the growing resume of pale imitative remakes done by Platinum Dunes, the production company owned by Michael Bay and responsible for other bland remakes such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Amityville Horror and even, coming soon to a theater near you, The Birds (and coincidentally, you’ll even see a clip of the original film used in The Hitcher.) If only I had known you could start a production company and simply use ideas that weren’t yours n the first place to make millions . . . . actually, I wouldn’t have followed the same path. Even back when The Hitcher was originally released, 1988, the idea of a hitch hiker on a murder spree really wasn’t necessarily the premise for a good horror film, especially since seeing hitch hikers on the road was becoming less and less common. Maybe in the late 60’s or 70’s it would have been a great premise and scared the hell out of people, but then and especially now, this isn’t even the case. The Hitcher only slightly borders being a horror film, and while slasher might be a more applicable ideology for the film, even that genre really isn’t something that this movie belongs in. At first, the movie does feel as though it wants to be a horror film, but that quickly fades. Instead it becomes frustrating, something of a road movie with fleeing characters and very little fear involved. The Hitcher at times is more like the producers took some of the ideas from the original, then tosses in some of Spielberg’s Duel for good measure, then just added a few other things that don’t make much sense. Ryder isn’t one of those horror villains that you fear and certainly isn’t one that will ever be iconic. Of course his advantage is that unlike those that we known and love, he is human, very much so, but there are things lacking. As we’ve seen, to really be a good horror villain, you need some kind of motivation, and for Ryder, it seems to only be death for the sake of death. This just isn’t enough. Jason killed for revenge, Freddy essentially did the same, and while Ryder is asked why he is killing, he only responds with, “you should know.” So, we’re left to ponder his rationale. Was Ryder killing with the intent that someone would kill him, was he trying to push others to experience what he feels when taking lives, was he having a bad day; we don’t really know the answers to any of these. Perhaps one of the most frustrating aspects of the film though is the complete and utter stupidity of our male and female victims, Jim and Grace. Though the two are first framed for murder, there is at least one officer who quickly realizes they are innocent and there is a third party. But things escalate quite quickly, and even though it’s a small town, there are things that obviously should be taken into consideration. Ryder would have left finger prints, possibly hair in one of the vehicles and police could easily bring in a team and find and analyze these. During one sequence an officer is shot by Ryder with a rifle (possibly a .22) and Grace is blamed as officers see her pointing a gun at the victim. The easy solution is simply get arrested. No shots where fired and it should be evident that not only does the weapon have full rounds, there is no powder to indicate the weapon being fired recently, no shell casing in the area, and the caliber of bullet doesn’t match that with the one that was actually fired. Okay, yes, I watch a bit too much Forensic Files, but you see my point. Now, if you were a fan of the movie, having seen it in theaters previously, you’ll be pleased to learn there are a lot of special features. There are a number of deleted and alternate scenes included as well as an alternate ending, and I think I liked it a little bit better. There is an FX short showing the body casting for Zachary Knighton, a look at the construction of the car crash sequence, a making of feature and a collection of mock news reports following the events as they unfolded in the film. I keep hoping that there will be some kind of moratorium placed on remaking older horror films, and those from Asia as well, but still there is no sign of Hollywood slowing down. The producers behind The Hitcher however should be ashamed of what they’ve done here, and what that happens to be is they have taken a horror film from nearly 20 years ago that wasn’t palatable to begin with and made it even worse than it ever could have been, and not in a good way. The Hitcher is just another example of the lack of imagination in the horror industry and until some new, original, and frightening ideas can come about, I’m afraid that we’re stuck with schlock of this nature, and that is the most frightening aspect of all. -mike-
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