The Masters of Horror anthology has brought a number of well-known director’s into the fold in both seasons. There are those who are lesser known as well, but the series has managed to get more than enough talent on board that are both loved and hated by horror fans. Dario Argento is, for whatever reason, one of the Italian directors that everyone absolutely loves, everyone except for me that is. I’ve watched a number of his movies, some multiple times, and I just don’t see the appeal. His offering the first season, Jenifer, was one that could have had potential, but Argento managed to lose sight of what he was trying to achieve. Season two once again finds that man that some consider a maestro behind the camera once again in his latest episode, Pelts.

Jake Feldman (Meat Loaf) is a sleazy fur trader who has made a rather nice profit from his business, though running the equivalent of the sweat shop never hurts the pocket book much. When he’s not busy trying to find new ways to exploit his workers and the fur trade, he’s spending time in seedy strip clubs (nothing wrong with that) when Shana (Ellen Ewusie) has caught his eye. She wants nothing to do with him however, at least not unless there is money involved, and even then there are limits to what she’s willing to do. Elsewhere, Jeb Jameson (John Saxon) and his son Larry (Michal Suchánek) have been out hunting raccoons in an area that most avoid and their latest kill has presented them with some exquisite fur. Jake is more than interested and soon finds that just as claimed, the fur is beyond belief. He’s also found the Jameson’s dead, but that’s of little consequence to him. Instead, he has his workers start making what promises to be one of the best fur coats that he or anyone else has ever seen, but the fur of these raccoons comes with a heavy price to pay for all who touch it.

Again, I will point out that I don’t like Argento’s work, but he does seem to be a better director when he’s not filming something that he has scripted himself. Pelts is not a script that has Argento’s handiwork all over meaning that at least for me, it’s more tolerable that most of his other films. The story brings with it two things that somewhere along the line, screenwriters and everyone else involved in the film making process has seen fit to ignore and those would be boobs and blood. Horror today is more or less a tamer version of what was seen in the 70’s and 80’s, though there are very few original ideas anymore, but at least here we have something that wants to try and recapture the glory days. In fact, Shana spends a good deal of the film running around topless, and that’s quite fine.

These two things combined might seem like a fantastic idea, and by most accounts they definitely would be, but the problem is that Pelts often relies too heavily on these aspects and foregoes anything resembling a good story. The plot overall is very thin and doesn’t amount to very much. It’s very clear within the first few minutes of the movie that Jake is more than infatuated with Shana and when these precious furs come into the picture, it is even more obvious where this will lead, and this becomes even more true when we see the effect that the fur utliamtely has on those who come into contact with it. The back story of the raccoons and the mysterious old woman who is watching over their domain really becomes something that is of little consequence to the overall story. It’s much like the old man who appears in just about every slasher film and warns the group of unsuspecting teenagers that they are all going to die. They will ultimately ignore the warning and maybe at some point in the movie he’ll return to tell the tale of why the mysterious killer is stalking them. That’s more or less what you get here.

Pelts however does have some very good visual effects and quite a bit of visceral carnage. I can respect that, quite a bit actually, and Argento has managed to get one of the more gruesome looking episodes when it comes to this. I feel though that he wanted to have much more of a shock value, almost too much so, and foregoes really trying to mesh anything together in a cohesive episode. It’s almost like he was trying to outdo what Miike did in his episode in season one, and even that wasn’t nearly as impressive as most people want to claim, though usually it comes soley from those who love his work, and I’m not one of them.

What I’ve found with the second season releases of Master of Horror is that the bonus features aren’t quite up to par as what was seen with the first, but Anchor Bay has at least gone the extra mile and included more features than some other companies have. Most of what is included here is very standard for most releases that want to be a cut about the rest. There is commentary, though not with Argento for obvious reasons, but writer Matt Venne. You’ll also find a making of feature and, more importantly, a look at the creation of the visual effects. There is a look at the original storyboards as well as a photo gallery and for those who have a PC equipped with a DVD-ROM, the original screenplay is also included on the disc as a PDF.

If you’re wondering what it will take to win me over in terms of Argento, I will state that honestly, probably nothing. I’m just not a fan of his work unlike many other people. While I certainly liked the gore in Pelts, and you can never have enough gruesome goodness, and there are some ladies with impressive . . . let’s just call them assets, that is really about all that intrigued me. Outside of that, Pelts is more of a run-of-the-mill episode for Master of Horror. It’s not as bad as some of the others, but it’s certainly nothing that I would consider to be remarkable or memorable.

-mike-