What if I said I was going to make a horror movie with a killer named "Moonface", that his weapon of choice would be a flashy bowie knife (the type you find in those mall cutlery stores on the "sword" wall), that he collects victims at a corner deep in the woods where one out of ten vehicles goes off the road, and that he skewers their eyes out with a huge drill press table before hanging the corpses like scarecrows in the isolated forest where he stalks?  Chances are good you might tell me to rethink a few things...that this amount of cliché horror movie devices piled into one film just might send it over the top into the realm of the ridiculous.

Maybe it would change things if I told you that, instead, I was going to make a movie about a woman pushed to the edge.  Maybe she marries a guy who is a bit on the crazy side of things...a survivalist...an extremist.  When he takes it upon himself to "train" his new bride, she begins to see just how disconnected with reality this guy actually is...and all of this is BEFORE things get out of control.  Can she find the strength to stand against this tyrant of a man...to push back against someone with twice the training, twice the size and twice the madness?  Maybe this would sound a bit like a film that should be starring Jennifer Lopez...thriller maybe, but horror...no way.

Enter Don Coscarelli and his entry into Showtime's Masters Of Horror series, "Incident On And Off A Mountain Road".  Pay no attention to the title that borders on short story and sounds much more suited to a piece of pretentious modern art hanging in some gallery where having only one painting per wall is considered "chic" instead of "empty".  This film takes the two scenarios above and welds them together into a single unit...with an absolutely astounding amount of success!  There is a reason this film, based on the short story of the same name by author Joe R. Lansdale, was chosen to flagship the Masters Of Horror series; it commands attention and its quality assured that viewers would be tuning in for the rest of the series' run.

Everything about this hour long film was handled with extreme care by Coscarelli; who himself is no stranger to the horror genre.  Perhaps you remember a little film from 1979 called Phantasm?  I figured you would.  Obviously, this movie is a little dated by today's standards, but in it Coscarelli pioneered the use of "dream realities"...something that would be put to film again (perhaps more memorably) five years later in Nightmare On Elm Street.  This film led the director down a road of successful horror entries including three sequels and a surprise hit released back in 2002...Bubba Ho-Tep.

While Phantasm was an exercise in the bizarre and Bubba was a voyage into strangeness (a retirement home Elvis battling an ancient Egyptian mummy), Incident spawns from a much more real, dark and gritty place of the human consciousness.  The real horror comes not from the steel-toothed homicidal maniac roaming the woods, but from the flashbacks of a woman's troubled and torturous past.  The real struggle is not her fight to stay alive, but her fight to prove herself worthy of a new life...as she is escaping the nightmares of her former one.

When her car is disabled on a lonely stretch of road and she is thrust into a frantic fight for survival against an unfathomable killing machine, her terror and overwhelming bid to make it out alive are intercut with scenes of her past.  Coscarelli manages to seamlessly blend the two together into a progressive story of a woman's strength...a tale which is at the same time apprehensive and rewarding, and which holds a very interesting conclusion!  Not to give away everything right here, but Incident manages to hold a few cards close to its chest until the very end.

The atmosphere is nailed spot on; the "woman in the woods running from a madman who is never far behind and eventually winding up in his house" stuff is played to perfection.  Even though I can now look back and see how I was being directed through the film during my first viewing, what was happening on screen and the frequent flashbacks to our heroine's past were enough to keep me from noticing it THEN.  This is a great skill to have as a director; we all know that to create something completely original and brand new is nigh impossible, but to make someone forget that they have seen this all before is something that too few directors manage to pull off.  Coscarelli does it impeccably. 

In addition to the wonderful directing, Incident does not shy away from the gore.  There is less "in your face" carnage in favor of more unsettling brutality, but regardless the red stuff still has plenty of screen time.  The drill press scenarios are handled brilliantly, and seeing as how they were a late addition (when Coscarelli wanted to step up his "horror" to match the work of his peers in the series), it is obvious that this director knows how to give fans what they want without faking it.  This guy knows his horror and I wouldn't be rash in saying that Incident is his best genre work yet.  Sorry but the Phantasm series just never resonated with me, and I would be hard pressed to see Bubba Ho-Tep, brilliant as it was, as a truly genre piece.

But as much as the director knew how to create a great horror film with Incident, the acting talent here knew how to turn out the right performances.  In the role of our terrorized woman, Bree Turner does absolutely brilliantly.  For an actress who began in the business doing background dancing in a variety of television and film ventures, she has blossomed into something much more.  Her presence onscreen commands attention, and that attention is well rewarded.  Dealing here with a variety of emotional situations ranging from sheer terror to wedded bliss she nails every one...believably.  I look forward to seeing her work in the future and while it appears her home lies in the romantic comedy, I hope that she decides to return to the genre once in awhile.

John DeSantis is a towering and extremely imposing fellow, and his role here as Moonface is one he was born to play.  Casting directors have long been taking advantage of his stature and intimidating looks, whether it was as The Juggernaut in Thir13en Ghosts or the Viking warrior Ragnar in The 13th Warrior.   But as easily as he falls into his role as mass murderer here, he is not this stories "real" villain.  That honor gets reserved for Ethan Embry, whom I will ALWAYS know as Mark from Empire Records ("Damn the man...Save the Empire!").

As the psychologically unstable militant extremist Ethan is absolutely credible.  But what makes me take a second look in admiration of his talents is that he also manages to be a lovable and endearing man at times.  We WANT his girlfriend to say yes when he proposes...but we also want for him to pay the price big-time when he starts to get a little out of control.  A great casting if I have ever seen one...

It is just this attention to every detail that makes Incident such a huge success in my opinion.  This is horror done right.  It doesn't break any boundaries.  It doesn't turn the genre upside down.  It doesn't make a huge statement.  Good thing none of that crap is important to the average horror fan!  What Incident does, is bring an intelligent tale to the screen along with a great deal of violence and  terror; fulfilling both the childish part inside horror fans which makes us scream "Don't go in the basement!" at the screen, as well as a more cerebral connection which makes us look back while the credits role and say, "Wow, that was a pretty damn good film".

The extra features on these Masters Of Horror releases are some of the best that I have ever seen on any release of any film from any company.  When you are buying a movie which only runs for an hour, you are going to want a little something more.  How about over three hours more??  Wonderful interviews, featurettes, commentaries and behind the scenes are attached to this disc and we are talking quality as well as quantity! 

One more added bonus to tell you about...a very humorous and well played appearance by the original Phantasm Tall Man himself, Angus Scrimm.  This is a side of this actor you have NEVER seen before and I think it is one of his finest moments on screen!  Inspired and brilliant as well as a great way to pay homage to the gentleman who has been along with Coscarelli for the whole ride.

Incident On And Off A Mountain Road is the perfect "something different" for your collection, yet unlike most "different" films, this one is actually really good!  I say go out and pick this one up just to remind yourself that original isn't what makes a good horror movie, acting isn't what makes a good horror movie, gore isn't what makes a good horror movie...it's just plain old fashioned HORROR that makes a good horror movie. 

-aaron-