What has four mullets, a transsexual killer, dead bodies who breath and who's eyes move, two girls called the "shit sisters", two young boys called the "tit patrol", Bruce Springsteen's sister, Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen's sister, a Jason mask, a Freddy glove, Leatherface's face and chainsaw, the worst edited decapitation of all time, a huge body count and more horny teenagers than you can count?  SLEEPAWAY CAMP II.  And it's a damn good thing it does, because with just one of those things missing, we wouldn't have the classic teen exploitation/slasher masterpiece that Anchor Bay has blessed us with!

So what makes me such a happy camper?  How about a transsexual camp counselor, fresh out of rehab after killing a camp full of kids, who has a new job, at a new camp, and is ready to dispense with her (his?) unique brand of moral justice!  You see, Angela Baker (played to bizarre perfection by Bruce Springsteen's sister Pamela) just doesn't understand why today's youth are so immoral, and takes it upon herself to "weed out" the bad kids.  So as boobs come out, heads come off; and as joints are lit up, so are a few campers.

When all is said and done we are treated to deaths by acid, drilling, chainsaw, stabbing, slashing, burning, beheading, choking, and even one death by outhouse leeches!  The best moment?  Two campers fashion themselves some scary costumes to frighten our pillar of righteousness, Angela: one as a machete-wielding, hockey masked maniac; and the other as a burnt-faced madman with a razor-fingered glove.  But before these two horror icon wannabes can do their stuff, they are cut down by Angela, disguised as a chainsaw-swinging, flesh-faced butcher!  Good stuff I say!

The humor is more in-your-face than the copious amounts of bare breasts.  From the inside jokes (two young campers are named Charlie and Emilio, in obvious reference to actress Renee Estevez's brothers), to the blatantly laughable (after a bout of gratuitous sex, the promiscuous girl asks her companion off-handedly, "You don't have AIDS or anything, do you?"). 

There are a few truly gross moments delivered by Splat (Bill Johnson), but few real shocks or scares.  The most unsettling moment comes as a montage of Angela singing the "Happy Camper Song", in distorted half speed backed by flashbacks of the films previous murders.  Creepy stuff.

Helped greatly by the no nonsense direction of Michael A. Simpson (who returns in Anchor Bay's DVD release of Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland), this movie has been catapulted to instant cult status; and perhaps garners an even greater respect than some of the films it emulates.  If you are a true horror fan, and you don't already own this film...shame on you!  But even if you do, this DVD is worth the cash for some rare Behind the Scenes footage of the filming process and the ability to be able to skip straight to your favorite of Angela's "lessons in morality". 

What could be better than a deranged murderer teaching the youth of today what is moral?  Nothing, so go get this disc!

- aaron -