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Vampire Sisters takes the time trued ingredients of breasts and blood and mixes them together to form a horror soufflé that would make Joe Bob Briggs proud (and it does, as evidenced from his recommendation). But Mr. Ripple wasn't satisfied with just two ingredients for his masterpiece, so he added two more...two more sets of breasts that is!
The vampire sisters, on which our film is named, are 20th century undead indeed. You see, they run a website, named aptly enough, VampSisters.com, in which they offer the usual bevy of nudie pictures and live interactive webcam chat sessions. But the rule on their set is, you pay to play; and the more you pay the more you get to play. You see, they track their members to find the ones spending the most money, and then these VIPs get a little bonus...a personal invitation to visit their suburban homestead...and to get a little more intimate...
Meanwhile, the sisters are keeping another task force busy...the missing persons division. These ladies announce a new winner to their special contest every time they get hungry...and they get hungry a lot! Why don't they just hunt for their food like all the other vamps? According to sister Tasha, it has something to do with some knowledge passed on since the 14th century...blood tastes sweeter when the victim is in the state of sexual arousal. Go figure...
So the ladies keep inviting gents over and dispatching of them in some decently interesting ways, all of which involve a good sexual arousing. For the guy who likes to watch? The three girls get it on a bit before taking care of him. For the timid French woman who likes girl on girl action...well, lets just say she gets a good tongue lashing for her misbehavior! And for the overweight, balding guy...
"What is his fantasy?"
"S&M! Right up our alley!"
"It's leather time!"
Leather time indeed...poor sap. Gets a little S&M action and then the next thing he knows, some vampire chick is licking his blood off a sheet of plastic on the floor.
These girls are hiding one other secret, beyond the fact that they are immortal creatures that prey on the life blood of the living...they also have something REALLY nasty locked up in their garage; something that disposes of the bodies of their victims, and shakes the very foundations of the structure while doing it. It is this foe that the
Despite its flaws, Vampire Sisters can be a good time; but viewers should be aware that enjoyment of this film necessitates letting go hopes of plot or making sense. Thankfully, the films actresses give you plenty to take your mind off all that plot nonsense.
We'll just say...this one's for the guys.
-aaron-
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Now,
both you and I know what happens to these late night visitors...they
become vamp food. This seems to be a pretty sweet gig for the
ladies, until a police task force gets on their trail. This
special unit is faced with the task of eliminating prostitution...whether
it be on the streets, or online. When they get wind that there
is an internet site that offers members "special bonuses"
if they spend enough money, the alarms go off and soon they are spending
some serious cash on VampSisters.com to see just what these "special
bonuses" are.
Basically,
this entire film was written for the sole purpose of getting three
chicks to take of their tops and engage in simulated sex acts.
Why don't they just wear clothes and hunt? Blood doesn't taste
good unless the victim is aroused. How do we get them to change
their outfits for every scene? Have each victim's fantasy acted
out to get him/her aroused. Different fantasy, different outfit,
right? So where do a group of vampires hide a body a day if
they are killing them in their home? Add a creature in the garage
that eats the bodies. Why would the vamps kill their highest
paying customers? Well, the police angle doesn't work any other
way. Someone came up with a basically good idea and then Don
Dohler wrote a screenplay around it to fill all the holes.
It's
not that I would expect Oscar caliber stuff from a b-horror flick,
but when I have seen films like Reign In Darkness, I know that
low budget vampire flicks can be a whole lot more. But what
if this film set out to be nothing more than a skin flick? Well,
the filmmakers should have gotten themselves some ladies who were
more comfortable in their own skin. Real life Internet-starlet
Syn DeVil does a fairly good job at playing a...well, vampire internet-starlet;
but the other two actresses seem very stiff and wooden...they should
have left that to the male victims. Perhaps the sisters would
have been a tad more sexy if they weren't forced by the director to
walk around with their mouths open every time they had fangs in.
Imagine having fangs and making a scary "I'm going to bite the
sh*t outta you" face. Now hold that face for up to 3-4
minutes...it loses a little something and frankly reminds me of the
mouth-breathers on my high school football team.