Okay, first up, I don't think that any of us were expecting to see a movie last year which dealt with the hardships of an amateur dodge ball team working their way up through the ranks of a televised tournament to win $50,000 and save a crappy gym from being bought out by a corporate giant rival company.  In fact, just the idea of this premise is ridiculous and hilarious enough to start the laughs off without ever showing a frame of film.  I mean, who plays dodge ball?  No one right?  That's what makes it so funny, right?  That no one actually would ever attend a dodge ball tournament?  That dodge ball is a forgotten sport of recess and playgrounds?

WRONG!

I direct your attention to www.dodge-ball.com, home of the International Dodge Ball Federation!  That's right folks, not only is this group big enough to be a "federation", but they are international too!  More than one country has decided to take part in a world wide conclave of sportsmen who ping rubber balls off each others backs and legs in an attempt to achieve athletic dominance!  Not only an international federation, but one with a sweet acronym for their name, the IDBF!  This is serious business folks, and not something to be mocked and scorned, which is why I for one am shamed to be telling you about this next film which makes a mockery of this sport of champions which has existed for what seems like an eternity!  Well, at least since 1996.

But we'll come back to the IDBF a little later...let's take a look at Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.  <Ed. note: We never do get back to the IDBF...a shame really, it seems like a great organization!>  Peter La Fleur (Vince Vaughn) runs a little establishment known as Average Joe's Gym, which lives up to its name in every way.  This is a sanctuary for the "average" man to escape to.  Not entirely clean or sanitary, fully lacking of any quality equipment, and populated by only those who would simply not "fit" in a traditional health club environment.  It is a happy place, a safe place, and most of all, a completely bankrupt place that is about to be foreclosed and sold to its major competition, Globo-Gym.

Globo-Gym is of course, the opposite of Average Joe's in every way.  Featuring the latest and greatest in cardio classes (a little Cowboy Cardio anyone?), the most expensive and versatile machines, harder bodies than the Chinese clay soldiers of Xian, and the leadership of owner/operator White Goodman (Ben Stiller).  At Globo-Gym, they are better than you, and they know it, but if you are looking to go from a Frankenstein to a Franken-fine...well, there is no better place.  With a strict regiment of mental abuse, physical torture and a little plastic surgery, you can have the sculpted, fit physique you have always wanted for only your life savings and a large piece of your soul.  But what would a company like this want with their across the way competition?  Why a parking lot of course!  What a mess...

Peter has been running his little haven with a policy of "pay or don't", and it seems that the coffers have now run dry.  Either he comes up with $50,000 dollars to get himself out of debt, or his gym falls to the bulldozers.  But how can he and a group of misfits possible hope to raise the funds?  It's simple really!  They have only to form a professional dodge ball team, learn how to play, advance through the qualifying rounds and win the Las Vegas championship and its prize of, wait for it...$50,000!  No sweat...

And such is the history behind the formation of the most ridiculous cast of characters to ever grace a sports comedy film in the history of the genre.  There were some wacky kids in the Bad News Bears.  Major League had Charlie Sheen with a really strange hairdo and that weird voodoo dude.  Hell, even League Of Their Own had Rosie O'Donnell!  But The Average Joes (as they would come to be called) take the cake with the honors of "Ridiculously Hilarious Team Of Misfits In A Sport Comedy/Film" for Peter, the leader who doesn't actually think his team can possibly win; Justin, the underage, uncoordinated, male-cheerleader wannabe who takes more ball shots to the face than a porn starlet; Owen, the not-so-intelligent brainiac; Dwight, the light-in-the-loafers personal trainer who cries when sweat gets in his eyes and can really pull off a matching scarf with his overly tight muscle shirt; Gordon, a four-eyes nerdling in his late 40's/early 50's with a male order wife and two visually corrected youths; and last but not least, Steve The Pirate, who...aww, hell, Steve thinks he's a pirate.  Really...eye-patch, "arrrgghh"s and all!

Rounding out this motley crew is the beautiful and fairly normal (except for a slightly creepy collection) accountant, Kate, assigned to Average Joe's record books; who hides a secret skill at under-handing a rubber ball at amazing velocities and with astounding accuracy.  Of course, this attractive and talented secret weapon has drawn the attentions of Globo-Gym's owner White Goodman, who is already assembling his crack team of muscle bound ball-players from all corners of the world to ensure the defeat of his prospective take over.  Not much needs to be said about White's team of muscle bound retards, but White himself is an interesting cat.

Now a lean, mean idiot machine who doesn't quite understand the word "metaphor", but uses it way too much, White was once a 600 pounds heavier lard-ass who had a veritable love affair with food.  Even now he implements a strict practice of shock treatments and physical torture to hold his cravings for food (which border on the sexual) at bay.  Spouting such witty banter as "Cram it up your cramhole, LaFleur!" and "I know you. You know you. And I know you know that I know you.", White Goodman is a man of many surprises.  All of the surprises are how stupid he can possibly be.

So, these Average Joes have a lot to accomplish if they hope to keep the Globo-mitts off their gym, and it will be an uphill battle the whole way.  Strenuous training (with both balls and wrenches), dangerous matches (with Girl Scouts and gangsta rappers) and one super creepy, all-male carwash stands between these underdogs and their goal of financial independence.  What a ride!

Now, we have all seen Ben Stiller act a fool before.  There was Mystery Men (Mr. Furious is a freaking riot!), Meet The Parents, There's Something About Mary, and Along Came Polly; but in each of these films he played a normal guy who really didn't want to be or know that he already was ridiculously moronic.  But in Dodgeball you have to take all of that to a brand new level!  White Goodman is no "normal" guy and his every move, phrase, action and intent spell out "complete loser" in capital letters; like this...COMPLETE LOSER.  Stiller is absolutely hilarious and falls into his character so much in way of mannerisms and posture that to simply see him on screen is enough to build a case of the chuckles.  When he actually gets his juices flowing and the character starts to let loose, you will have a hard time controlling your bladder and staying dry.  This is Stiller at his finest and if you are even remotely a fan of his form of "a thinking man's brainless humor", than you simply cannot miss this performance!

Vaughn is equally powerful in his performance of straight man to Stiller's antic driven persona.  Vince manages to keep you laughing but at the same time bring you back to reality after brief trips into the delusional realm of Goodman.  His mildly insulting, but in a really nice way, manner of dealing with his team is creatively written and flawlessly executed, creating a character that we can love and root for, but is just edgy enough to make us comfortable around him and perhaps see a little of ourselves in his "I'm a loser, but a better loser than these other idiots" attitude.

One of the main reasons to plunk yer butt down in front of this DVD is the interaction between real-life husband and wife duo of Stiller and Christine Taylor (who plays Kate).  Knowing that these two are married makes their scenes all the funnier when Kate is mocking White, slamming White's face into a wall, or calling White all manners of things that I will not repeat here!  How fun it must have been for her to be able to taunt and bash all over her more famous hubby in his own starring-role film!  But it appears that even when not in a loving role, their chemistry together lends itself to the happenings onscreen and their shots stand out as some of the best moments.

Unfortunately for the movie going audiences, but fortunately for you "I'll just wait for the DVD" types, there are more fantastic moments that never even made it into the theatrical version.  Of course, as is the way it is done with such things, these deleted moments are included here for your enjoyment!  Deleted scenes and hilarious outtakes can both be found here, but the real treasure lies in the newly re-edited, alternate ending!  I am not going to give it away, but lets just say that I knew what it was in advance and I still dribbled milk down my chin and lost a Lucky Charm to my cat-hair filled carpet when I watched this new ending.  Funny stuff.

And there is plenty more funny stuff to be found here as well!  How about a featurette on the pratfall/slapstick comedy stylings of actor Justin Long (Jeepers Creepers), who may be amping up for a role as Hollywood's new comedy great.  Things are also looking great for the future of the sport of dodge ball as Stiller and Vaughn include a pitch to the Olympic Games Comity in an attempt to get dodge ball its due respect.  And for an even deeper look into the sport and its portrayel in this film, you are going to want to tune in to the included commentary with Stiller, Vaughn and director/writer Thurber.  The three of these guys sitting in a room talking is about all the evidence you need as to why this was such a great comedy success.

There are completely stupid movies that are so stupid they are great; ex. Mystery Men.  There are completely stupid movies that are so stupid they are just stupid; ex. anything Mel Brooks after Blazing Saddles.  Then there are movies that are so stupid they shatter reality and tear through time-space creating a wormhole to your TV in which only piss-your-pants laughter from another dimension may pass through in endless streams, straight to your brain.  Dodgeball falls into one of these three  categories.  I ain't gonna tell you which one, but let's just say my undies are still damp! 
 

-aaron-