Platform: PSP

Genre: Adventure

Number of Players: 1 (1 - 6 via AdHoc)

Who knew there was a cartoon aimed at young girls and teenagers? I’m not talking about Bratz, don’t even get me started on that abomination, but these days, American cartoons are either imported anime, geared more towards a young audience, or the type of thing that is found only on Cartoon Networks Adult Swim. Winx Club apparently has been successful here in the States, so much so that apparently there was a necessity to create a video game, and while it’s been seen on the GBA, PlayStation 2 and even PC, Winx Club is now making its way onto the PSP to try and fill in that void of software lacking for the young female demographic.

In the Realm of Magix you will find the collective body of teenage girls known as the Winx Club. There’s Bloom, Layla, Tecna, Flora, Stella, and Musa and together, these six friends use their magical powers to protect themselves, and of course the Realm of Magix, from the powers of darkness and evil. But, apparently you can’t defend anywhere from evil unless you have some fashionable clothing and some bubblegum pop to back it up as well.

Oh, finally! Do you have any idea how many times I’ve been fighting evil in a game and though to myself, “You know, this is all well and good, but without the right outfit and some pop music, I don’t think I can really accomplish this tremendous task.” Yeah, that’s right, round about . . . zero.

Winx Club, brilliantly subtitled Join the Club, is an example of what not to do with a license, and in this case, it’s make a video game. You’ll start out by selecting the character that you want to play as and give her a family friendly name. Trust me, I tried to use some other names that are best not mentioned in this review and the game will not allow it, and I don’t think that they were already taken since there isn’t any online play. But, why even bother giving you the option to choose a character? The only thing you really use her for is to navigate to the collection of mini-games whereupon you’ll be playing as one of any of the six Winx Club characters.

The entire “story” to this game is simply selecting annoying mini-game after mini-game and trying to pass them, and I don’t care if you’re a novice, these games are not that difficult. You might find yourself doing some rather slow and uneventful downhill racing, the type that certainly rivals SSX . . . okay, not really. There are rather bland and unimaginative variations of memory. Have a desire to do some basic running, dodging, and jumping like the days of Crash Bandicoot? Well, Winx Club is certainly going to fill in that void if you’ve felt yourself lacking.

Finishing the games unlocks even more mini-games, and there seems to be no stop to the madness. But what about those costumes I was mentioning earlier? Sure, those are there, and if you’re looking to play dress-up, then once again you’ll find that Winx Club fills in yet another void. Also, with even more things to unlock, if doing some interior decoration for absolutely no reason but to do it floats your boat, you’ll find that Winx Club covers that as well.

So, I guess there’s a story here, at least that’s what the developers where shooting for, but here’s the problem. The “story” is told by using clips from the cartoon, and this means some long, long load times just for a mere 30 second clip at best. Not only that, you honestly expect me to believe that they couldn’t get their hands on the raw video? Seriously, using a clip is one thing, but using a clip that contains things like the staff credits from the cartoon itself is completely different. The load times I’m sure are also lengthen by the use of 30 second clips of music from the series, the type of ridiculous inane bubblegum pop that almost makes watching American Idol palatable . . . almost! The game is also marred on top of everything else with horrendous graphics that are like the early days of the PlayStation. No, there’s no 2 in there, certainly not a 3, but the original PS system.

So, by joining this club, what have I walked away with? Not much save for a reason to avoid anything with Winx Club slapped on it at all costs. Plus, I found there’s no medical, no dental, no 401k and it seems that the only thing this club really gives you is a reason to pull your hair out in frustration. But, if you’ve got time to kill, and you’ll need plenty of it to endure the load times, then you certainly aren’t going to be too saddened as you feel your life slip away moment by moment waiting to play yet another mindless mini-game. Disband this club; now!
 

-mike-