Joe Bob Briggs

March 2003
 

With his new book on the horizon that promises to be a must have for all fans of counter-culture cinema and movies in general, we were lucky enough to toss a few questions to the author, Mr. Joe Bob Briggs.  With a long and varied career as a Drive-In Movie columnist, writer, and his own stand-up comedy theatre experience, Joe Bob is still best known as the host of TNT's MonsterVision.  We were honored that he shared a few moments with us, and are excited to present the interview to you loyal Underland Online fans.

 P.O. - As we eagerly await your forthcoming new book, “Profoundly Disturbing: Shocking Movies That Changed History”.  Can you give us an inside glimpse at what we can expect from this read?

J.B.B. - “Profoundly Disturbing” consists of extended essays on movies that I’ve always been kind of fascinated with, not because they’re great movies–although some are–but because of the impact they had on the rest of the world. In some cases the impact is not immediately evident–“Creature From the Black Lagoon”–and in others it’s instantaneous–“And God Created Woman,” “Shaft,” “Reservoir Dogs.” There are also movies that are still relatively unknown to the general public, but they’ve had such a large influence on various countercultures–“Blood Feast” and “Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS” are examples–that they’re sort of invisibly subversive social documents. I’m being a little too intellectual here; the book is fun and has great pix.

 Over the years, many horror/sci-fi movies have been announced, but never saw production.  Is there one film/property that you wish had made the screen that didn’t?

There were three sequels to “Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS” that never got made. (The “Ilsa” craze was short-lived.) But the titles sound great: “Ilsa Meets Bruce Lee in the Bermuda Triangle,” “Ilsa vs. Idi Amin” and “Ilsa: Nanny to Royalty.”

Your name has become synonymous with the love of b-horror, cheesy sci-fi and gratuitously bad film.  Is there another genre of film that strikes your fancy?  We would love to hear that you go weepy for Titanic or Sleepless in Seattle.

Please! Spare me! I’ve always said that the greatest horror movie of the eighties was “A Chorus Line.” My only guilty secret is that I do like foreign films, but I think that’s because there’s no danger in going to a foreign film in the U.S. We have so few of them in the theaters that we only get the top 1 percent of the films from other countries. I especially like the slasher movies coming out of South Korea.

You turned up in a number of films during the late 80’s/early 90’s, including Casino, Great Balls of Fire and Face/Off .  Besides an appearance in the mini-series The Stand and hitting the cutting room floor in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, why haven’t we seen you in more genre films?

The short answer is that I just don’t have time for it. When I was between real jobs, I would go on acting auditions, but I haven’t really been doing that since I’ve been doing so much writing. My guilty secret is that I don’t really like film sets–too much time sitting around waiting on lighting guys to get finished.

Gratuitous breasts in horror film: Too much or never enough?

I can’t believe you asked me that. I’m still a major fan of the classic “Gas Pump Girls,” the all-time breast-count champion of modern times. There is no such thing as a gratuitous breast.

Someone has to ask.  Jason or Freddy?

Definitely Freddy, but only the early Freddy. Freddy has a personality, whereas Jason is just sort of a generic killing machine. In the later “Nightmares,” though, they started going for Freddy one-liners and it wasn’t so scary anymore.

In your “Joe Bob Goes To The Drive In” column, in early 1991, you reviewed Bad Girls From Mars.  At the time, America was knee deep in camel crap fighting the Gulf War, and you defended the American public’s life-as-usual actions (such as going to the drive-in) by saying “The way you know a place is free is that people feel like it's okay to be TRIVIAL.”  As we approach the brink of war again, this time in Iraq, what movie do you think would be best to give us all a break from reality?

“Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter,” the final film of the most prolific exploitation filmmaker in history, William “One Shot” Beaudine. Fortunately it’s being released this summer by Elite Entertainment in a restored DVD version with a commentary track by yours truly.

Three words for the aspiring film critics out there...?

Eat More Fiber.

At one time it was feared that the MPAA and their movie rating system could spell doom to the genre.  Now we have come to find out that it is actually “teenie-horror” that prophesizes doom for us all.  What do you think it will take to break the cycle of thirty year olds playing twenty year olds in roles that could have been written by a 12 year old?

There aren’t enough homeless people making horror films. Those filmmakers in the seventies and eighties–you always had the suspicion that they really WERE deranged maniacs. What kind of country have we become when the schizophrenic can’t get paying jobs?

That about does it!  Thanks again go to Mr. Briggs for his time!  The rest of you, head over to Amazon.com right now and pre-order the new book, Profoundly Disturbing.

-aaron-