Time Bandits 1981 Anchor Bay Entertainment   Buy It Now

I had thought I saw Time Bandits many, many years ago, but I didn’t remember much about it. Anything, actually. At first, this led me to think that it probably sucked. I reasoned that if I had seen it, and liked it, I would remember it, and since I didn’t (remember it), then it must (suck).

So, I received the UMD version of the film in the mail and took a look. Written by Terry Gilliam and Michael Palin. So far, so good. I am a huge Monty Python fan. Starring Sean Connery, John Cleese (Cleese is a Higher Deity in my personal pantheon), David Warner, and even Kenny Baker, the wee man who brought life to R2-D2 from inside the shell. OK, I thought, perhaps I haven’t seen this movie after all. I am sure I would remember it.

After viewing the film, I can say that no, I had not seen it before, and while not the best movie I have ever seen, it did not suck, and I did like it.

If you haven’t seen the movie, it goes something like this. A young man named Kevin, often neglected by his parents, dreams of fantasy and adventure. One night, after he is shuffled off to bed, a medieval knight comes crashing out of his dresser, and charges off. The next night, he hurries off to bed, instant camera at the ready, and waits for the happening to repeat. Just as he is about to give up, something else comes from his dresser, only it’s not a knight, but a host of dwarves, who, thinking Kevin is someone else, grab him and wrap him up. Soon, they discover that he is just a kid, but they’ve no time to consider it, as a ghostly face chases after them, a haunting voice demanding that they return they map they stole. Together, Kevin and the dwarves flee through his bedroom wall and into a series of adventures across the sands of time.

If you have ever seen a Terry Gilliam film, you know there is a particular feel to them, a kind of deliberate pace that makes an audience (speaking specifically of we attention span deprived Americans, here) squirm a bit. On top of this, there is the feeling that things are just- wrong, somehow. Mr. Gilliam has a way of tweaking the subliminal mind in a fashion that will leave the viewer not sure if he should laugh or not. Not because his stuff isn’t funny, mind you. It is. Rather, it’s because it can be funny in the way that a paraplegic security guard is funny. If your buddy tells you that he had a paraplegic security guard coming after him, you might tend to laugh out loud at the absurdity of it. If it happens to you, on the other hand, you don’t laugh, because the memory of it creeps you out in ways you simply cannot define. I know whereof I speak, folks- it happened to me. Anyway, I have often thought that Terry Gilliam is a man I would love to have a drink with. I would, however, think twice about following him into a dark alley after he has had a few. I think there is something disturbed in him, and when he taps it right, it makes for a great film.

Sadly, Time Bandits is not a great film, but as films go, it’s pretty good. John Cleese as Robin Hood is excellent. If you know John’s work, you can picture it. Robin Hood, in the forest, welcoming a host of five wee thieves and a young boy to his ranks, thanking them for all the looted treasure they have brought, neglecting to explain to them exactly what he intends to do with it. Robin Hood, handing a priceless golden goblet to a starving man, thanking him for coming to visit, at which time the poor soul is promptly belted in the face by one of Robin’s Merry Men. Robin Hood, asking if this face punching is really necessary, the silly smile never leaving his face. The wee thieves, looking on in bewilderment. Classic Gilliam, classic Cleese. Funny and disturbing all at the same time.

That scene is probably the best in the film, until the very end. I will spoil it, and tell you what happens- Kevin’s parents get the fate they deserve. Hooray for movie justice, but again, you can’t really relax and enjoy what happens to them, because Kevin is now left totally alone in a very large world. Just as the wee thieves get what they want (treasure) in every time period they visit, but invariably loose it all in the act of escaping to the next time period (finding themselves in a worse situation than before each time), Kevin’s story ends the same. By the end of the film, Kevin has lost the only people who cared about him, and the ones that should have, never did. As the credits roll, you might find yourself wondering, what the hell was the point of all this, then? Stories with young boys having fantastic adventures are supposed to have happy endings, with the boy’s parents, discovering he is gone, realizing how wrong they have been, sweeping the chap up in their arms, and then they all live happily ever after. Time Bandits certainly does not end on this happy note, and perhaps that is the point. Life does not end like in the movies, and you really should be careful what you wish for.

Particulars of the UMD version of the movie- there are none. No special features of any sort, just a widescreen presentation of the film, that’s all. For me, that is enough. If I am taking a movie with me to watch somewhere on my PSP, probably I am not going to concern myself with the making of the film or all that. The audio and sound of the movie itself are as good as any I have seen on the PSP, which, given the clarity of the thing’s screen, should not be surprising.

So, taking all of the facts of the movie into consideration, I can’t say that Time Bandits is a fun movie to watch. But I will say that it has its moments, and the all star cast does an excellent job. It is definitely worth watching for them, and if you are in a melancholy mood, it would be great. But don’t expect to have your spirits lifted by the end, unless, of course, you are disturbed. If that is the case, then Time Bandits will probably put a spring in your (undoubtedly lurching) step and smile on your (strangely lopsided) face.

-Ed-